For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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