I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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