Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
