3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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