I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
