and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize