when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
