happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
