i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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