the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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