Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
vagina is talking i cant
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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