is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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