Whod you bang
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I wish there were birth control emojis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
