Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
