what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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