Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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