Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
