thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
