She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Found the puke drawer
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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