They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
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I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize