i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
