I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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