woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
