i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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