I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
