we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
