therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your dad touched me again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
