...so i touched it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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