So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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