I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
