we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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