My first STD was from a foam party
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
