We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
