The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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