The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
