He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
