words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
