Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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