Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
