Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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