I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
