i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
