"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize