perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it because I queefed?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
