I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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