Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
