but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
