Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
