I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize