he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
