the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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