I cut my penus on the lid.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
