This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
