Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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