he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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