last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
