And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
