Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize