Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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