nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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