just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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