I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
