insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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