I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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