chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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